Complementary Therapies By Sue

Musical Progress

2011-03-12T02:51:00.000-08:00

I'm currently working on a Grade VIII piano piece. I started one piece sort of liked it and then I heard someone play it as it is meant to be played.

Then I realised that I didn't like it one bit, that is completely uninspiring. I would say to my piano teacher, 'I know that I am playing what's written, but it just sounds horrible.' Then hearing the piece played at full speed on a harpsichord confirmed that it sounds horrible. So I got rid of that piece and am now working on another one, one that is much kinder to my ears.

The other challenge I face is that when I finally get a moment of interruption free time to practise, it's when everybody is in bed, I mean little people (aka children). If I had a digital piano that would be fine but I don't. So I have to practise amongst loud protests.

So what do I do? When I have set my mind to practising, I sit and practise anyway and tell the protester that I need to practise this piece of music. I don't actually get to practise properly and that means scales to warm up and then go into my piece. I have to just go into my piece without any warm up. That is like running a marathon without training.

Scales are boring, tedious and uninspiring but the reality is that they are a necessary evil to improving any musicians technique on any instrument.

Another instrument that I wanted to learn to play is the guitar. I tried teaching myself but could not make head nor tail of this thing with a long neck and strings. I gave up and sold the guitar on very quickly.

Then in later years, I bought another guitar, this time it was more expensive and it has nylon strings, so it's a classical guitar. It is lovely and sounds nice. You play a different style of music on that as compared to a steel string guitar. The neck is wider so it makes playing certain chords really difficult (I'm thinking of F for instance) but is set up wonderfully for plucking out your tune.

I also got a little ukulele guitar and that is interesting to say the least. It has a very tinny sound. That I bought for my then 5 year old girl. Now she's 12! A ukulele guitar has six strings, but is tuned a fourth higher than the standard guitar. It has steel strings on it too and is a bit bigger than a ukulele. It was a good size for her to start learning on. A ukulele has four strings while the ukulele guitar has six (as I already said).

This week I had a break through on the guitar. I actually played a song with chords and not just individual notes picking out the tune. Finally! I did have a few lessons a few years ago, I will never be Leona Boyd (a classical guitarist) or anything like because I don't want to do that. I'd just like to be able to in my quiet times strum a tune and perhaps accompany the smallest person in the household singing her favourite Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Truth be told, what I'd really like to be able to play is the theme from Les Jeux Interdits which is a French film. The theme song is absolutely beautiful. I will put the link here for you to listen to yourself. Jeux Interdits This is the type of guitar that I have. So you can see that it is perfect for this style of playing.

Achievement; What does it mean to you?

2011-02-26T09:49:00.000-08:00

Last night I was reading something that someone had written about me and they made a very interesting comment. Their comment was something to the effect that I had downplayed a couple of major achievements in my life.

The truth is, I did not see those events as achievements because they came very easy to me, virtually no effort at all. That got me to thinking about the word achievement. What does it mean?

I had always thought an achievement was something that happened after much effort and perhaps even after a long struggle.

So all of the courses that I completed in 14 months I view those as achievements. I had to work to get my qualifications and I did work too! I also worked from home and home schooled/educated my children at the same time.

Learning to play a piece of music on any instrument for me is an achievement, well, only if the piece of music is above a certain standard/grade/level because that means I have to work at it.

I would love to be one of these people who can sit down and sight read through anything and play it perfectly, what I would like, and what the reality is are two different things, to achieve that requires a lot of work on my part, along with time. I simply don't have the time at the moment to dedicate to practising any musical instrument for an hour a day. Every time I sit down to practise, I get loud protests from others in the household. It is a good thing I am not trying to get ready for my Grade VIII exam otherwise I'd never get there at this rate!

I have been milling around in my mind about achievement and what it means. Can something be an achievement if I didn't spend a lot of time and effort? Can something be an achievement that comes 'naturally'?

I have a gift for learning languages. I love to study languages, I enjoy learning how the grammar works and then when I learn how grammar in one language works, I suddenly become aware of how the native speakers think when they are speaking English. I start to listen and the grammatical errors they make in English gives me a clue as to their grammar in their mother tongue. It also helps me learn to speak their language.

People compliment me on my ability to speak German, which is no easy feat by the way, that is a big achievement. Or is it? Learning the basics of the language was not an achievement really because in school it was so easy for me to learn it. I started German a year behind everyone else. My German teacher put me in the class with my grade rather than my ability and I ended up getting the highest mark in German with a tiny bit of effort, then he asked me to participate in German contests against other students. So in that one school year, I went from not knowing any German at all to surpassing all of my classmates and basically going along to a contest. One other person from my class went with us, I think and then the next one was just me! That just came so easily to me back then.

Over the past few hours, I've been thinking about my idea of what achievement means and I have decided that perhaps maybe an achievement doesn't have to be something that requires a lot of blood, sweat and tears. An achievement is something that is in the eye of the beholder. If you think that something that someone does without any effort is an achievement, then it is just that. If you think that an achievement requires a lot of effort, then that is what it is.

So while I may not view those things that came with no effort at all as major achievements, they are in another person's eyes and if they congratulate me on such a major achievement, I will respond with two words, 'Thank you!'

What do you think? What is your idea of an achievement?

New Year, New Me, New Attitude

2011-01-12T00:53:00.000-08:00

We have just entered into a new year, and a new decade. There is always talk of 'resolutions' around New Year's Day. For some people, these 'resolutions' take the form of giving something up. They want to 'lose weight', 'stop x behaviour' or start going to the gym (in a bid to lose weight).

They spend money on their gym membership, go for the first few weeks and then that's that! They don't go for the rest of the year. The gym has a pretty good end in that bargain, don't you think? You join and pay a joining fee or membership fee, and then you are locked into a contract for 12 months. Then, when you stop going, you continue to pay for a service you aren't using. They get your money without you benefiting from their facilities.

I didn't consciously make a resolution this year, but I have noticed two things that have happened, one is that I seem to be procrastinating less, and I have taken up reading something daily.

My daily reading has helped me to have a better outlook on things and I do feel somewhat calmer about 'the little things'. That is definitely a new attitude!

I have noticed that if my little one brings me an item that needs to be fixed in some way, I fix it then and there, rather than put it off until later. I realised that I spent far too much time procrastinating on simple little things, than actually working on the little thing or task.

A button came off of her dress. I got the needle and thread out and sewed it back on immediately. Otherwise, I'd have to keep that button somewhere in safekeeping until I finally got off my chair to get the needle and thread out and sew it back on. The task took less than five minutes but had I put it off, I would have then probably had to remember where I had put that button (spend 20 minutes looking for it), and then sew it on. So that five minute task would have taken me close to half an hour.

I've had an attitude change, so this is a new year, and a new attitude.

What about the new me? Well, I rang in the year with waist length hair. I had been saving up my hair to cut off a nice 12 inch ponytail to donate to a charity who makes wigs for children who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy or alopecia. So now my neck gets cold! That's a small price to pay when I know that somebody else's head gets cold because they have no hair!

So there you have it, new year, new me and new attitude.

What is different about you this new year?

Stop and Smell the Roses.

2010-09-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." -Lord Byron

What does that mean? Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. Exactly what it says. Sometimes in life there is nothing you can do but laugh. I went to a funeral this past weekend and while that was not the time for laughter that was certainly a time for tears, there was a passage from the Bible that was shared at the funeral.

It was the passage from Ecclesiastes, and apparently the Mamas and Papas got the inspiration for their song 'Turn Turn Turn' from this passage:

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What makes you laugh? Don't forget to make time for laughter and of course stop and smell the roses when you walk along. Stopping to smell the roses is another medicine that is cheap! Just the act of stopping and sniffing a flower or admiring something of natural beauty is a luxury that everyone should allow themeslves.

I did an experiment one day, I was walking with my four year old, I stopped and smelled a rose, she did too, the rest of the walk was peaceful. That simple act meant that we were not at all under stress about going somewhere.

What is your cheap medicine?

What do you forget to make time for? According to this passage from the Bible, there is a time for every activity under the sun. Look at your life and see how you can make time to relax or look for that one small luxury, for me, it was stopping to smell the roses. What is it for you?

Let's Get "It" Together

2010-08-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, September is now just around the corner, many people are getting ready for going back to school, or university or college and thoughts turn to getting organized or getting "it" together.

But one question I have and I am sure not everyone thinks of is: What does 'getting it together' look like? What does that mean to you?

Does that mean getting all of your homework done? Does that mean getting your house tidy and it stays tidy? Does it mean getting out the door on time and arriving on time or slightly early to where you are going? If that is what getting "it" together is for you, then that is what you should say.

When I am punctual or early, then I have 'it' together. When my home is tidy, then I have 'it' together. The only catch is that your home will never 'stay' tidy without some work on your part to maintain it.

Julie Morgenstern in her book 'Organizing Yourself From the Inside Out' talks about just this point. She uses the acronym SPACE, which stands for Sort, Purge, Assign a home, Containerize and Equalize and equalize really means 'maintain the system'. So you get your home tidy but you still have to maintain the tidiness. That is ongoing, so perhaps getting 'it' together in that situation will be getting a routine in place that reminds you to spend 10-15 minutes each day tidying up.

I won't bother reinventing the wheel here, if you need help getting your home in order, the best place to go is www.flylady.net and read about setting up routines and babystepping your way to a tidy home from Marla Cilley herself! She has the best system for setting up a routine that I have ever seen. She takes her followers, called Fly Babies, through the routine of building up one habit per month to get their homes tidy. She had a room that was so bad, she couldn't set foot in it to organize it. She just tackled that room two items at a time and over nine months or so, it was decluttered! She knows what she is talking about when it comes to tidying up your home.

Now, coming back to getting 'it' together. One of the things I have said is you have to be specific. Your conscious mind and subconscious mind cannot handle wish washy and so therefore you have to use the 'name it and claim it' approach. Once you know what getting 'it' together means, then you have to say 'it' and give 'it' a name. For people who have children, you put a lot of thought into your child's (children's) names, so you have to put thought into this as well.

After you have named 'it', the next thing you need to do is set goals. These goals need to be SMART goals.

SMART goals are:

S - specific, significant, stretching

M - measurable, meaningful, motivational

A - agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented

R - realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented

T - time-based, timely, tangible, trackable

So in line with these words, what does 'getting it together' look like? How will you know when you have got 'it' together?

For instance, you want your whole house to be tidy enough that you can have people in without feeling embarrassed or harassed. That is far too big of a goal to tackle, so now you need to make little goals that end up resulting in the big goal. So you start off making a small goal of a spot on the kitchen counter (worktop) and eventually you make another goal of another area and this will spread to the rest of your home.

Maybe your goal is to 'get fitter'. What does that mean? Does that mean not getting winded walking up a flight of stairs? Does that mean training for a marathon? How will you know when you have reached the 'getting fitter' goal? If you set yourself tasks that are measurable and specific then you will know what getting fitter looks like and when you have reached it.

Let's tackle the marathon for an example. I have never run a marathon, however, I can only imagine the sheer amount of training that goes into it. This is not something that you would do over night! So in my case, I would want to start off running a quarter of a mile, then build up to half a mile, then a mile, then two miles and so on until I can eventually run 20 miles then I can increase it more and eventually get the 26 miles in. At each 'milestone' I would maintain that until it is no longer so much of a challenge for me, and then step up to the next one. Each goal along the way would be measurable and specific, achievable, realistic and of course trackable.

Or maybe having 'it' together looks differently than that to you. What does that look like? What will it feel like? Those things you have to know before you can start out.

So everyone now has homework, think about what getting 'it' together looks like. Think about what 'it' is. Only when you know what 'it' is and how 'it' will look when 'it' is together can you start getting 'it' together. Remember 'it' has to be specific so think about what 'it' is and replace 'it' with ..... and then you can start moving on.

Report back in what that means to you and then we can take the next step which is to work on the SMART goals.

Let The Sun Shine In

2010-08-24T00:32:00.000-07:00

I bet you were singing just now, weren't you? That song was very popular in its day and now people are very aware of SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder and how lack of sunlight causes depression in some people.

These people need to use a special light in the winter months to help their body with the lack of natural light. If you live really far north, the summer is the time for 24 hours of daylight and the winters are predominantly dark.

Why would I be writing about such a winter disorder on a summer's day? The evenings are now getting shorter, we did have daylight up until 11 pm at one point (in the UK) and now it's dark by 9 pm. I am writing about this to remind us all that we need to enjoy the sunshine and let the sun shine in.

If you have this disorder, there is help available to you and it can be treated with homeopathy, light therapy and perhaps a spot of colour therapy too.

The sun helps our body make vitamin D, you would need about 5 to 30 minutes of exposure twice a week without sunscreen on your arms, face and back of the legs. But doesn't that go against all the warnings? Yes and no. You can do it safely, and after a few minutes apply the sunscreen to block out the UV A rays. In order for your body to make vitamin D naturally, you need some exposure to the UV B rays. Those rays are stongest in the summer months (in the Northern Hemisphere).

So the sun can help your bones, it helps us to feel brighter, so open those curtains, go outside and let the sun shine in. I know what I'm going to do right now!

**For more information on complementary medicine treatments for SAD, I have a network of complementary medicine practitioners who may be able to help you with either herbs or homeopathy if you have SAD.**

Procrastination; It Takes Longer Than You Think

2010-08-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

What does that mean? Procrastination takes longer than you think? How can that be? It very simply means what it says on the tin. I realise that I cannot speak for everyone, but I know that many people struggle with procrastinating, I mean why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right?

Right! Or is it? Some days I proudly proclaim that I am procrastinating and other times I just do not procrastinate.

Do you realise that you spend more time procrastinating than you would spend in doing the task? I bet you don't believe me! It is true!

Yesterday, I was inspired to take care of a task I had on my list of things to do for THREE months. The task ended up taking me 30-45 minutes. I spent three months putting off a 30-45 minute task. Let's take a look at this from another angle, shall we?

How many minutes are in one hour? That is easy, 60 minutes! OK, how many hours in one day? Again, a very simple answer, 24 hours! How many days are usually in a month? 30 days or 31 days right? OK, for the sake of simple calculating, I am going to say 30 days for this exercise.

24 X 60 = 1,440, that is the total amount of minutes in the day.

1440 X 30 = 43,200 that is the total amount of minutes in a 30 day month.

43,200 X 3 = 129,600 - that is the total amount of minutes in 90 days.

This is the total amount of minutes I spent procrastinating. Then, I thought about it, and lo and behold that meant that I had spent between 2,880 and 4,320 times the length of my task putting it off!

So you see, it is true, we spend more time procrastintating than we actually spend carrying out our tasks.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, if you keep procrastinating you will always have that stress of doing everything in a last minute rush and all the aggravation that brings.

Let's pledge to make a difference in how we do things. Choose one task today that you have been putting off and just start it, you will be surprised by how little time it will actually take you. That is the reason many people procrastinate. They are afraid that the task will take too long.

Get a timer, set it for five minutes and then go! Make a start on your task. You will be amazed at what you see.

Another idea is to use a stopwatch and actually time yourself doing the dreaded task, again you will be pleasantly surprised, and yes, it will take a lot less time than you thought!

Embrace Change

2010-08-22T04:49:00.000-07:00

I have decided to relaunch my blog, so here I am, ready to go again. Change is good even thought it can at times be scary. Why do you hold back from change?

What is your biggest obstacle to change? I think that the answer is simply that we are our own biggest obstacle when it comes to change, and we cannot really move that out of the way.

If you are able to change your thoughts, you can change some aspects of your life.

I have encountered clients and friends who talk about why they are not able to achieve something and when I suggest a slightly different tactic, they always have a reason or excuse as to why they just possibly could not do that. In reality the answer should be a firm, "I don't want to do that" rather than coming up with a plethora of reasons/excuses to not do something.

How many times have you looked a situation and said 'Oh I should ......'? There is a word in that statement that implies you do not really want to ..... Have you noticed that word? The word 'should' implies that you really do not want to but feel that you have some sort of obligation to do so either imposed directly by someone else, or by yourself. Try looking at the situation again, can you say 'I really WANT to .......'?

Now before you say 'We can't go through life always doing what we WANT to do, there are some things we MUST do'

I agree, there are things we must do and they are imposed by others, such as paying your electricity bill, you may not WANT to pay it, but you HAVE to pay it or you won't have electricity in your home, or you could end up in court to pay the electricity bill and of course the legal fees that would be attached to it.

There are things that we all have in our life that we look at and say 'Oh I should .....' and those things may be optional, that means you really don't have to do them. You are putting someone's expectations on yourself. Who is that other person? Your parent? Your partner? Your friend? Your doctor?

Remember, the first step to change is learning what you really want for yourself and to do that I challenge you to listen to the phrases you use when speaking about things you are about to do. Do you set out to do something with the best of intentions, and then end up not following through? Look at and listen to the words you use when describing this particular thing. Do you say 'Oh I am really keen to .....?' or do you say 'I must .....'? or perhaps 'I should.....?'

Be aware of what you say and that is the first step to knowing what you really want to accomplish and achieve. I believe that we all have the answers inside ourselves, and it can happen that we just need someone to ask us the questions to get those answers out into the open.

Do you procrastinate? I once put off sewing a little seam on a dress because hand sewing is not my forte. Finally I sat down and sewed that little bit of seam on the dress and do you know how long that took me? It took me 10 minutes! I had however had that dress sitting on my to do pile for about 2-3 weeks! I spent more time putting it off rather than actually doing it!

What tasks do you have that are your 'put off until later tasks'? I bet that you would be surprised by the small amount of time it takes to complete one of those tasks and you spend more time putting it off. Get a stopwatch, time yourself doing the task and then please post your results here!

So until next time, look at how you speak, and perhaps you can change the way you see your tasks. Some things are necessary and must be done regardless of preference, but remember, if you procrastinate, you spend more time putting it off, than you actually spend doing it!